While I cannot speak for the church, I
can give my interpretation and beliefs. The church I belong to, The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not have a specific stance on divorce.
What I mean by that is that they do not give specific circumstances where
divorce is acceptable and specific circumstances where divorce is not
acceptable. A member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and a leader in the
church, Elder James E. Faust, explained that just cause is not labeled or
listed and that decision is for the participants in the relationship to decide
but he warned against divorce and explained that it is usually not an
acceptable outcome. It is not acceptable to get a divorce for reasons such as,
“mental distress, personality differences, grown apart, and fallen out of
love.” Elder Faust said, “a prolonged and an irredeemable relationship which is
destructive to a persons dignity as a human” is the only time divorce is
justified. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, another member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
and leader in the church said, it is sometimes needful to have a divorce like
when it is, “beyond hope of resuscitation.” Elder Oaks also explained that in
most cases when there is discord in a marriage, “the remedy isn’t divorce but
repentance. The cause is not incompatibility but selfishness.” These are strong
words and would be hard for myself to hear if I were going through a divorce or
if I had gone through one in the past. Because of this I think it is really
important to explain to friends and others that this church and its leaders are
loving. This is Jesus Christ’s church and obviously He is charitable. The very
definition of charity is Christ like love. Elder Oaks also said that during the
hard time of divorce the atonement is needed desperately. He explained that
people who are experiencing troubled marriages and divorces don’t need to feel
like they are doomed. He said, “Whatever the outcome and no matter how
difficult your experience is, you have the promise that you will not be denied eternal
family relationships if you love the Lord, keep His commandments, and just do
the best you can.” Statistic show that divorce has a lot of negative outcomes
for all of the family members and the church just wants people to be happy and
fulfill their potential as sons and daughters of God.
The interesting
thing is that this is not just a religious idea that is being pushed upon all
by a minority but the idea of stable marriage and avoiding divorce is a
societal issue that is addressed in government reports. The National Marriage
Project published a report called The State of Our Unions, Marriage in America
2012. They said, “Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a
complex social institution. Marriage fosters small cooperative unions—also
known as stable families—that enable children to thrive, shore up communities,
and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad
times. Researchers are finding that the disappearance of marriage in Middle
America is tracking with the disappearance of the middle class in the same
communities.” There are numerous studies that show children of divorced parents
are likely to have emotionally and physically health problems. This same report
explains that there are monetary consequences to divorce as well. “A modest
reduction in divorce would benefit more than 400,000 U.S. children each year
and would produce significant savings for U.S. taxpayers.
I understand
that marriage is hard and loved ones do hurtful things. I am just trying to add
to the idea that marriage is worth working at and worth saving in our lives.
Faust,
J. E. (1993, May). Father, Come Home. Retrieved January 11, 2017, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/04/father-come-home?lang=eng
Oaks,
D. H. (2007, May). Divorce. Retrieved January 11, 2017, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng
University
of Virginia. (n.d.). The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012.
doi:http://nationalmarriageproject.org
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